I’ll admit it – I have a weakness for bars with a bit of character. The ones that feel like they have a story to tell, where every cocktail feels like it’s been designed by a mad genius in an underground lab. So when I stepped into The Parlour at The Zetter Clerkenwell, I knew immediately that I was in for a treat.
Tucked away inside the intimate, gloriously eccentric Zetter Clerkenwell, The Parlour isn’t just a bar – it’s an experience. The moment I walked through the door, I felt like I’d stumbled into the living room of a wildly charismatic, possibly scandalous, great-aunt with an obsession for good drinks and antique furniture. The walls are draped in rich velvets, the lighting is that perfect golden glow, and the décor is an eclectic mix of vintage oddities (hello, a stuffed cat), as if a Georgian adventurer had left behind their most prized possessions.
The Drinks: A Love Letter to Alchemy
Now, let’s talk about the real reason I came here – the cocktails. And trust me, they do not disappoint. The menu reads like an old-world apothecary’s notebook, filled with intriguing ingredients and playful names. You won’t find a run-of-the-mill mojito here – this is a bar that leans into the experimental, in the best possible way.
I started with the Kimchi Picante, a spicy Mezcal-forward number laced with El Tequileno Blanco, Briottet peach, Fair Chipotle and … wait for it… Soy sauce. It was bold, complex, and the kind of drink that demands slow sipping.
Next up, I went for a classic, extra dirty Martini. Dangerously easy to drink, this cocktail – plus the three plump olives at the bottom of the glass – was the stuff James Bond’s dreams would be made of.
What I loved most, though, was the attitude behind the bar. There’s a real sense of fun here – the bartenders are more like potion masters, keen to tailor a drink to your mood, your spirit preference, or simply how adventurous you’re feeling. If you give them free rein, you’ll likely end up with something bespoke, delightful, and entirely unexpected.
The Food
If indulgence had a greatest hits album, this menu would be it. The Zetter Cheese Board was a love letter to fromage, with a perfect trio of creamy, crumbly, and sharp cheeses, all harmonised by apple cider chutney and crisp crackers. The Charcuterie Board? A carnivore’s dream – silky Parma ham, bold fennel salami, and Coppa, paired with a tangy tomato chutney that I shamelessly scooped up with sourdough.
The Yorkshire Wensleydale Potato Cakes were golden, crisp, and blissfully nostalgic, especially when smothered in the sweet-tart cranberry compote. The Heritage Squash dish, with its nutty fermented cashew and zesty salsa verde, proved that plant-based can be just as indulgent.
The Vibe: Like Crashing a Very Stylish, Slightly Secret Party
Beyond the nibbles and drinks, there’s something undeniably special about The Parlour. It feels like a secret, a tucked-away hideout for those in the know. The candlelit corners, the quiet hum of conversation, the clink of ice in a well-made drink – it’s all perfectly orchestrated without feeling forced.
It’s the kind of place where you settle in for one drink and end up staying for three (or, let’s be honest, five). Where time slips away unnoticed, and where strangers become drinking companions over shared sips of something deliciously obscure.
Would I go back? Without question. The Parlour at The Zetter Clerkenwell isn’t just a bar – it’s an invitation to step into a different world for a while, one filled with history, charm, and truly excellent cocktails. And honestly, who could say no to that?
49-50 St John’s Sq, London EC1V 4JJ
